I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
