have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
