At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
