you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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