Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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