so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
