K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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