Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize