can we get nightvision for the apartment?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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