Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
