You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
