Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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