Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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