I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
