Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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