I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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