similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
