8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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