Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it was like eating out sand paper
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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