Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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