Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
