Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
