So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
