Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
