i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
