saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
