are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Someone came in the potted fern
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
