There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
