Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
