Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
