Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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