I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
