he puts the penis in happiness.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
