There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize