For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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