Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
