so let's talk penis.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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