Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
