he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
