no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
