seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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