We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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