Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
