new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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