i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
