you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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