Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
