Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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