I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
