I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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