i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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