Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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