Whoa Z and x make the same sound
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
