is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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